It is understandable that you will have moments of sadness, or perhaps even depression, during your divorce.  Here are 5 easy steps to get  you back into your groove, full of energy tand optimism.

1. Talk to someone who gets it.  You can experience a great deal of healing through talking.  Whether you talk to a therapist, a friend, a relative or a life coach, talking to someone that supports you and who understands your feelings is a huge step in the healing process.  Take the time when you are feeling down to telephone a friend!  Research has shown saying our negative feelings assists in our minds ability to let them go.

  • Express your feelings, even if they are negative, in some way and then let them go.  We think a good ritual to start with would be to write down all the bad things you are feeling on a piece of paper.  Say a little prayer or mantra and then (safely) burn the piece of paper with all of those bad thoughts on them.  Release the bad thoughts and the emotions that attach to them. 
  • We also suggest obtaining a life coach that can sympathize with you and give you some other strategies for healing.  Just simply talking to someone will make a world of difference.

2.  Exercise.  Exercise can be in many forms.  You can take a walk, start a new exercise routine if you have the time/health to do so, practice yoga or simply exercise the brain by meditating. 

  • Most people do not consider meditation exercise, but we feel that it is a form of mental exercise.  It is something that you can do practically anywhere, except while driving!  Even at work, take 5-10 minutes from your day to meditate in a quiet place.  You can use a guided meditation app on your phone if you are new to meditating.  If you find that you just don’t have the energy to exercise but you are physically able to, make the effort.  Push yourself a little more each day.  Sometimes depression keeps people from having any energy and it’s not physical, it’s mental.  When you exercise your brain and your body are involved and they both benefit.

3.  Try things you always wanted to.  Your post-divorce life is a new beginning.  Let this be a time in your life where you try new things.

  • Try to do things you always wanted to do in your life but we unable to for one reason or another. 
  • Go skydiving, learn to ski, plan a night out once a week with friends, join a reading group, sign up for a yoga class, plan a vacation somewhere you always wanted to visit! 
  • Do the things you want, for you and you alone.  Let go of those feelings of obligations that cease to exist other than only in your mind.  You do not need to sit around and mourn the loss of your marriage.   Just take it one day at a time and make it a point to try to do something for you each and every day.

4.  Try a holistic approach.  In order to grow in this world, we need to be open-minded, otherwise we will never learn new things.  There are so many eastern practices that are slowly making their way to the U.S. that have been around for centuries. 

  • There are so many proven techniques to de-stress other than getting a massage!  For example, you can try a Reiki session if you have never had one.  It is a relaxing, touch-free or light touch session where someone who is “attuned” to practicing Reiki clears your chakras.  We have lines of energy running in our bodies, called Chinese Meridian Lines, and chakras are center points of energy throughout your body where they can sometimes get blocked- Reiki assists in fixing that problem.
  • You can try essential oil therapy, acupressure, acupuncture, E.F.T. and chanting a mantra, just to name a few. 
  • Our point here is to step out of your comfort zone fearless of what others may think of you (that is the Ego talking) and try something that will make you feel good!  As the old saying goes, “don’t knock it until you try it”!

5.  Write it down.  Take a few moments each day to write down your thoughts, goals, ideas and plans.  Studies have shown that people who write down their goals.

  • Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican University in California, recently studied the art and science of goal setting. She gathered two hundred and sixty-seven people together — men and women from all over the world, and from all walks of life, including entrepreneurs, educators, healthcare professionals, artists, lawyers, and bankers.  She divided the participants into groups, according to who wrote down their goals and dreams, and who didn’t…In fact, she found that you become 42% more likely to achieve your goals and dreams, simply by writing them down on a regular basis.  We love using the planner sold on Dragon Tree Apothecary (www.dragontreeapothecary.com) called the Dreambook Planner.  The planner encourages you to write down your short and long-term goals and to continue to aspire towards them.

Now, during a divorce your goals can be simple, such as finding peace, forgiveness, becoming happier, loving yourself more, etc.  The point is, by writing down our dreams and aspirations, we are that much closer to attaining them.  We also suggest if you are more a visual person, to make a vision board or book.  You can achieve the same results by gluing sayings and pictures up on a board or in a journal and looking at them every day.  Whatever makes you feel inspired, do it!

 

Love begins with you!